Nothing big has ever happened to me on April 1st, but each year the date reminds me of me. My mom says it was the day the doctors told her I would be born. My young parents expected me on that April 1st so many years ago, but I didn’t show up. Nor did I show up the next day or the next. It would ultimately take me over 2 weeks to decide to come into this world.
The date helps me confirm each year that we make decisions and choices in our own time. I have never, or at least I have tried really hard not to to conform to the rules society often sets for us.
It’s a beautiful path for many, including several of my closest friends. I adore and respect their choices, but I think I may be on a different path. I have always been just behind the learning curve of what everyone else is doing. It’s always taken me a little longer to do what society expects. Maybe it’s the rebellious spirit I captured from my Dad, or possibly the focus on career instilled by my Mom, but either way I am clearly on a side path trying to merge with the big highway of life.
People often ask me, why haven’t you married? Do you want kids? Why Los Angeles? And I’ve even had one guy say to me, “Don’t wait too long, beauty doesn’t last forever.” I liked that one particularly the most because I think the person who said it was completely wrong. He is the one who is still stuck on what society deems important, not the individual. Beauty shouldn’t get you a husband, or help you cultivate a family. Beauty shouldn’t define your popularity in life. Beauty is a matter of choice. For instance, the way we treat our family, the way we react in negative situations, or the way we interact with the homeless. Beauty is something we can’t define. It just is.
I often, as I’m sure you do, think about the choices I’ve made and ultimately not made in life. Have we said yes because we thought we SHOULD or someone else thought we SHOULD? I would have to say yes to some things, but overall, I’ve tried to listen to my gut and do things the way I want them done, in my own time.
These days when I am faced with a question I can’t answer, I ask myself, “Why am I doing this and for whom? Me or society?” And I realize that in the end, the choice CAN be what I want, if I wait. Time won’t kill me. Doesn’t it just make us more wise in our ways? Now, that’s beauty!
P.S. Try taking the word SHOULD out of your vocabulary. It’s a word that makes you feel guilt, even if you don’t realize it. I’ll try and write about that this week. The writer Louise Hay has some interesting thoughts about it.
Have a peaceful, powerful April Fools Day!